reign.

"To regin over the kingdom of the world, to make its peace and right its laws; to be generous to the obident and merciless to all who would stand against you. Nothing ever changes; two thousand years and you still act like the world is yours.
What exactly is so amusing about exposing your filthy face to the world?
Does having an audience for you sins make you feel like you're special? Does it make you proud?
You are a fool who creates slaves to do your dirty work. A coward and an incompetent, incapable of doing anything on your own. You are not even worthy of the lowest pits of hell."

NJC invites.

well. it ended. whatever spark of magic i had was spent by the first round. at least i learnt. a great deal at that. made some new friends. learnt something new about old friends and talked to more people. besides the shooting. ohwell. congrats anyways to all winners (not that sp guy with the illegal string though).

i've just decided that i'm not worthy of a metal bow. at least not yet. so its my star thats going to serve for at least a few more months.

and thanks for keeping me company for a while. even though it was only inbetween ends. haha. and during e team event. loll.

what else can i say? installing half life now. hope its fun and will make up for six year old graphics. i should be studying for promos by now. but what the hell.

spar.

well. i have a new friend with me. but its just that it only 20cm tall and its not meant to be for me. hah. sneaky plan will be enacted tomorrow! hopefully, i get a satisfying reaction. plus, after chem h3 got BUTS (ballet under the stars. loll). boring. must go fletch arrows so that jinglin wont die and take me along in the process.

dont know man. its still there lingering. as much as i try, i cant escape. interhouse sports carnival provided some temporary respite. karthik dragged me along after pe and signed me up so that we could play together. wow. talk about fairy tale. i played in 3 out of the 4 matches. we won the three. then i had to leave before the fourth. i'm sure bayley waddle is more that capable of winning! yea. first for volleyball. soon, we'd be first for the whole carnival. i didnt screw up, with the exception of two serves. but i made a few good saves and hits. quite proud of myself.

"we must play with determination like ghana. seriously lah. bw is like the ghana of rj."

we had teamwork and the spirit. that allowed us to win. wooo. and hopefully, with abit of concentration, something magical can happen on saturday? hee.

and as for you. stop bloody criticising me unfairly. first of all, can you yourself produce a drawing good enough to match? after that, cut it out with the rubbish statements. you may not think it matters but to some people, it hurts alot. or maybe you are doing it to just look cool and funny. but sorry man. it just annoys. alot.

now check this out and tell me if i had done anything wrong. a harmless drawing. retards. i guess thats why i never really went around showing everyone.

and please. i dont like things the way they are already. i must do something about it before i fall into the eternal pits of desolation and despair. gahh.

subsonic.

dont you think its quite interesting how a tiny thing can drastically affect you in such a way you possibly could not imagine. well. lets just say i wasnt my usual self at training today.
"get a grip of yourself. you can chose if you want to be happy or sad"
i think it went that way. well. that was possibly the most useful thing anyone has said to me today. but the irony of it all was the person who said it to me. loll. i couldnt quite look straight at the face of the person who said that to me. no idea. but yea. But then again, sometimes, there are things that happen to you. Things that no matter how hard you try to take your mind off and be as happy as possible, you just end up being down. And contrary to what a few of you think, its not that. really. i can assure you. and the p word is plural. yea.

anyway. a wee little thing happened. that made me utterly hysterical for the rest of the training. and then, while i was going home with kaswin, i think i utterly tortured him to bits. but i did treat him mcdonalds dinner. haha.

took train home. and then, at dhoby gaut; i saw her. i was like oh my gawd! is that really her? i stopped to say hi. kaswin walked on down the platform. i had a small chat. but then i remembered abt kapitan. i probably did the dumbest thing i ever did. i said cyaz around and i went to kaswin. oh my gawd! i felt bad for ditching him. but the opportunity cost was like damn bloody low. hah. in fact after that, i became even more x10 hysterical and i tortured kaswin even more and i didnt let him sleep on the train reminding him what i did for him.

even though it wasnt really his fault and i have already forgiven him, i would never be able to forgive kaswin. haha. contradictory. but true. end of story. move on dude. it ended a long time ago. you cant keep living in a dream as good as it sounds. and if it didnt help much, i saw him. oh well. he didnt look like a loser. and i'm happy. no hard feeling mate. *crosses finger.

but i have not much time left to worry about these things. besides i have chem tutorial to do. mr wong seems to get pissed whenever we dont do our work. besides, i have to do math tutorial which i will conveniently forget. heh. sorry mdm low. ):

and i think i'm a really good detective/investigator/whatever. i mean come on. i keep taking notice of things. and i form theories. theories that are surprisingly accurate. i mean, when a frieng of mine told me something, and i when home to ponder about it, all the little patterns that i have been subconciously noticing came out and everything made perfect sense. whether its a simple conversation or a cryptic blog entry, i can eventually crack it. given i know the person enough. haha.

but first. to be a good detective. i must get the look. and this definitely is a cool suave look. though i might need to get a more modern looking coat considering the dude is wearing a Victorian age stlyle suit. but still. he looks good in it.




but this is definitely not cool. maybe it is in a twisted sort of way. but this is disgusting, sick, creepy, disturbing and very violent. did i forget to mention that this guy is a vampire? a rather powerful one at that. wooo.


nvm. go do work now. i can tell you are still living in your fantasies. so snap out of now! there is work thats waiting to be done!

instinct.

Let me read a letter I recently received. "Dear Sir, why has the Combine seen fit to suppress our reproductive cycle? Sincerely, a concerned citizen."

Thank you for writing, concerned. Of course, your question touches on one of the basic biological impulses, with all of its associated hopes and fears for the future of the species. I also detect some unspoken questions. Do Our Benefactors really know what's best for us? What gives them the right to make this kind of decision for mankind? Will they ever deactivate the suppression field and let us breed again?

Allow me to address the anxieties underlying your concerns, rather than try to answer every possible question you might have left unvoiced. First, let us consider the fact that for the first time ever, as a species, immortality is within our reach. This simple fact has far reaching implications; it requires radical rethinking and revision of our genetic imperatives. It also requires planning and forethought that run in direct opposition to our neural presets.

I find it helpful at times like these to remind myself that our true enemy is instinct. Instinct was our mother when we were an infant species. Instinct coddled us and kept us safe in those hardscrabble years when we hardened our sticks and cooked our first meals above a meager fire, and started at the shadows that leapt upon the cavern's walls. But inseparable from instinct is its dark twin, superstition. Instinct is inextricably bound to unreasoning impulses, and today we clearly see its true nature. Instinct has just become aware of its irrelevance, and like a cornered beast, it will not go down without a bloody fight. Instinct would inflict a fatal injury on our species. Instinct creates its own oppressors, and bids us rise up against them. Instinct tells us that the unknown is a threat, rather than an opportunity. Instinct slyly and covertly compels us away from change and progress. Instinct, therefore, must be expunged. It must be fought tooth and nail, beginning with the basest of human urges: the urge to reproduce.

We should thank Our Benefactors for giving us respite from this overpowering force. They have thrown a switch and exorcised our demons in a single stroke. They have given us the strength we never could have summoned to overcome this compulsion. They have given us purpose. They have turned our eyes toward the stars.

Let me assure you that the suppressing field will be shut off on the day that we have mastered ourselves, the day we can prove we no longer need it. And that day of transformation, I have it on good authority, is close at hand.

whats wrong?

whats wrong with me? i dont know. what is wrong with me? why dont you tell me. please. i wouldnt take it to heart. i just want to know.

yea. i originally wanted to title this post a "series of unfortunate events," depicted all those unfortunate things that happened to me in the last 48 hours. but i guess no one would really be interested considering the list would be really long. but i think the whole world (at least my class), knows that my chemistry practical skills totally can go and die. need evidence? pity i could video-tape the whole mock spa on monday. yes. while the invigilator kept suanning me. (pls mr wong, take our side for the next practical or smthing?) haha. actually, she not that bad. at least she help me refill bottle.

then today bio prac was some mega 2 hour tutorial. i damn sian. physically and mentally. and not to mention miserable. so i indulged in drawin a rather "nice" pic of ceras victoria from hellsing. (much to kaswin's approval. thankfully i didnt listen to his requests. heheh.) and to think lawrence thot i was staring at him when i was looking at the projector screen behind him. haha. anyway. the drawing is 75% done. missing e face, some detail, hands and legs. quite wasted. drew her too big until cannot draw her legs fully. nvm. i shall learn from this and draw pip berdanotte smaller in my next drawing.

and thanks Dr. In for gracing a page of my book with your nice doodles. haha. nice sitting with you too. but it meant i didnt talk much to plan. haha. sorry man. but then again, i did rescue your bottle from the lt2.

loll. and yes. pangseh me tmr. and the day after. and two days after. hah. nvm.
alucard will come to get you all! muahaha.


and my secret abit revealed now. loll. but its nothing much. haha. woo. x-23 episode on cartoon network! must watch must watch! haha. x-23 so angsty. i like. haha.

and look! new screens for dark crusade expansion! woo. cool units for necron and tau finally show.


and that has got to hurt. for the red space marine guy that is. the evil silver robot thingy seems to be enjoying it.
who says my blog so violent? haha.

right.

Azrin -- [noun]: An immortal 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

what can i say. fits me correctly! loll.

she

"She was a very disturbed child. Terrible, debilitating nightmares. Hallucinations. Hysteria. She never had a chance at a normal life. She was extremely sensitive to the negative emotions of the people around her.
We removed her from the chamber only twice. She was fifteen when the first prototype was born. She was supposed to be comatose. But she started screaming when we induced labour and didn't stop. We pulled the plug three years later when she was eighteen. She died six days later after her food and air were cut off.
There may be a scientific explanation to everything that has occurred thus far but I believe, ultimately it is just a matter of hate.
It is in the nature of men to create monsters and the nature of monsters to destroy their creators."

the end. part 2

allright. i think i should finally get this done. been delaying it for a week. but after replaying FEAR purely for screenshots and to understand the story better, i feel inspired to do it. loll
[disclaimer] the following post has some major (i mean really major massive) spoilers on the storyline of FEAR. if you are going to play the game or you just dont care or dont want to know, please dont read any further (i guess i should have put this in the first part but nvm).

recap. alma has just been released. evil bad guy fettel is dead. harlan wade is dead. and you are supposed to blow the whole facility so as to somehow kill the now fully release alma. loll. not to mention, you are alone.

soon after, you encounter another hallucination. it gives you a chance to get a proper glimpse of how alma really looks like.

now that alma's psychic powers are fully awake, she materialises these ghostly entities to come and kill you. and they can hit pretty hard.


then you reach the main power core. its four pylons. really cool stuff. but apparently if you smash them up, you'll trigger a chain reaction that will destroy the entire place. savvy. thats what you want.


the whole place goes on red alert. imminent destruction. you have to get out quickly before you get blown to hell. but that doesnt stop alma from appearing here and there.

after going through some underground areas. you enter yet another vision conjured by alma. but this is the longest and the one that makes complete sense. you start off in a burning medical facility that looks shockingly like the one you visited at the start og the game. (my guess is that its the same place)


alma appears in the place and its quite obvious she is trying to kill you. but for some reason, she disappears just before she hits you. maybe she wants you to see something.

you come to a door where you can see a doctor helping someone give birth. you can tell from the sounds. alma is behind walking towards the doctor before killing him.


then, alma finally starts to walk toward you. she doesnt look like she is going to disappear at the last moment. you must shoot her and save yourself somehow.


then. you see the full story. your very first memories as a newborn baby. harlan wade was the doctor that helped give birth to you. and he is taking you away. you hear your mother protesting. screaming and asking harlan to give her back her baby.

omg. that looks like alma! the face! she's your mother!

whoa. look at the surname! Alma Wade
she's related to Harlan Wade! she looks like his daughter. that means harlan is like your grandfather! and that hostage (her name is Alice Wade) you were supposed to rescue but died is your aunt!


the vision ends. you rush out quickly. and huge explosion caused by the facility reactor cores going critical knocks you out and flattens everything around you.


thankfully, you fellow squadmates find you in the middle of the rubble and promptly extract you via helicopter. that girl, she is asking you what happened you alma. at that moment, the helicopter encounters some turbulence. its as if something suddenly is weighing down the whole helicopter.


surprise!


so the story is not over. and it will continue in the upcoming expansion. that was an utterly awesome game. roller coaster ride full of action, scary moments and a really cool storyline that is left hanging and just waiting to be continued.

supersonic

while everyone is busy training at the range 7 days a week for njc, i've been adopting a more physical approach. working on my endurance and strength so that i can keep my form consistent. and after a full week of training, i am spent. literally and metaphorically. and i am broke too, until i get my allowance. and now i have a load of chemistry to do.

the result. a rather unhappening weekend. couldnt even play com. at least not yet.
but i do remember that rather philosphical phone convo i had with my friend.
"i want to be remembered in history. but if i want that to happen, i must either be a bastard or invent something new."
i think i got what he meant by being a bastard. (you dont know? well go figure it out yourself) especially when we were on the topic of war. gone is the age of chivalry and discovery. enter the age of violence, war and a world full of idiots. if i had a dollar for every person who died unnaturally, i'd be filthy rich. and thats really sad.
my friend was telling me how he'd love to live during the gunpowder age. haha. i'd rather stick around in this time. but if only somebody could find a way to fix things. make it better. i cant think of anyone now. but maybe we are destined to keep fighting on and on. check out all those sci-fi novels. do any of them depcit mankind in the future to be a race promoting universal peace? loll. not quite. especially not warhammer 40k which portrays the entire galaxy bathe in the blood of countless wars. but at least, in that setting, mankind is united as one race. not split up into tiny factions or whatever. and that is a sure improvement from what we see today. but, that didnt happen until 30000 years into the future. wooo. long way to go. hah.

and thank you for listening to my ranting at midnight. on the other hand, thank you for giving me such a cold shoulder. that really helped to make my day.


yea damn random pic. but its a guy suffering. reminds me of something too.

surrealism

i guess it was one of those nights. i cant remember the exact timings of the following events. but it a rough estimate. oh well. see for yourself.

(12:00 midnight) Last thing that could remember. i was reading my giant bio textbook hoping to improve my D-grade into an A for promos. everyone else is asleep and all the lights in the hall and the kitchen are turned on.
(1:30am) i arouse from my sleep completely surprised. the whole house is dark and i realise that i am on my bed. i try and crack my head to remember how long i've been asleep but to no avail. i could only somewhat remember the dream i had.
i was standing on some white structure which felt like marble. the whole horizon was a sort of creamy white. there were no terrain features as far as i could see. only a flat white piece of land. i was barefooted and was in some kind of white robes. i try to walk forward but time seems to sluggish but i persist, trying to reach the edge of the structure i was standing on. i came to the edge of the monolith. across the white surroudings, i see numerous similar structures of different shapes and sizes. all white and appeared to be made of the same thing. here and there i see tall thin posts driven firmly into the ground.
if words cant explain it. maybe i picture can. i was quite startled to see this work of art drawn in 1944 by Kay Sage entitled "I Saw Three Cities." very freaky.

anyway. back to the main topic.
(1:40am) still lying awake on my bed, i decide to go to the toilet.
(2:30am) i emerge from the toilet. i cannot remember what happened. i decide to my bed and sleep some more.
(4:45am) i wake up with wet eyes. cant remember what i was dreaming about. something about being in an eternal abyss with nobody but me. haiz. i couldnt sleep anymore. so i went to study bio.
(6:20am) i wake up on my table. apparently, i had fallen asleep but i have no idea when or how long i've been sleeping. i feel bloody tired.

and you. you ruined my mood AGAIN why do you always have to do it? it is always about you. you could have come if you really wanted to. or you could have just said no, you didnt want to come instead of giving the most retarded of excuses and then pushing the blame on me. bahh.

and i'm sure mr wong say i sit alone during class to my parents. maybe he was meaning the mental, spiritual, metaphysical thingy way but my parents saw it in a more physical way which i refuted immediately. haiz.

sn2

act 1
scene 1
@ steps forward to write tutorial answer on the board.
@: the bulky side chains block the backside approach so sn2 is not favoured.
proceeds to draw mechanism. thus sn1 is favoured.
!: good you separated the two steps. (proceeds to rant on irrelevant issues)

act 2
scene 1
-: are you feeling bored?
_: no lah, i'm just thinking. *stares into the distance, not daring to look at - in the face*
-: sure?
_: yes (of course i'm bloody bored. anybody can figure that out.)

act 3
scene 1
^: eh. whats the name of your book.
*: i dont know. it doesnt have a name?
^: give it one lah?
*: wait, it has one. look. retro circle *points at small tag on notebook*
^: ... eh. lets got lt then you can write your book.

scene 2
^: why you so sad? you can tell me your secrets.
*: no lah. i'm not what.
^: dont lie. i can tell that you're damn sad. who do you like?
*:...
enter lt3.
&: hey.
%: hey.
* goes to table and sleeps for awhile after listening to ^ & and % produce music.

whispers/ talks relatively softly.
^: eh. * damn sad eh.
&: i dont know. he's your classmate.
insert other irrelevant speech here.
* is actually awake and listens but doesnt say anything.

exeunt.

hah. here's an agsty young x-23 so that i can make more people become her fans. haha.



and since i'm so bloody bored. here's more GAMBIT!


and somemore of his flair and style. haha. pity all those guys pointing the guns at him.


though he is just the coolest, i think he should ditch the pinkish suit for this full black one. looks waayyy cooler. omg. omg.


and here is him and his gf rogue? i dont really like rogue. personally, i wish gambit would get together with x-23 or somthing. haha. loll.



and because i am now feeling very random. here is a robot called purger. he is a robot from the post apocalyptic future. what does he do? he purges people. he cleanses heretics and traitors. he kills every last one of them. no mercy. not one bit.


kill them all. every last one of them.

ps. sorry for making your com lag if it does with all the excessive amounts of pictures. i really am.

signs.

i looked at my palms today. surprise surprise. i saw a few lines in my palms very red. for some reason, i dont remember them being there before. maybe my life is drastically changing? or maybe its just my body reacting to something. who knows? hah. but damn wierd.

trained more today than i did yesterday. until the marists came and invaded the 30m board. then move on to the 50m board. it was quite fun shooting there actually. haha. seeing the trajectory of the arrow. loll. then just moved to short board to train form. haha. comp in less than 2 weeks and i so want to win something. haha. traintraintrain. whee.

and thanks you two for giving me such a laugh today. havent laughed that much in weeks. haha. really. loll.

you could be happy.

there comes a time when you step back and notice that there's a pattern. it might be a shitty one. but what the hell can you do about it? haha. i cant think of anything. not in my case at least. even till the most trivial of things, like my jacket size which i clearly remember putting down as l. hah. what to do?

thank you for that sweet circular card. made me smile abit. hee. though i did have difficulty reading it. and thank you my tiny green friend for cheering me up abit with that pink bloom. and thank you star for performing well today. hah. shot damn well, considering how i was shooting for e past few days in trainings. if i keep it up, i got chance of winning something.

i adore x-23. its sort of like a female wolverine. but hundred times better then deathstrike in the x-men 2 movie. she's got 2 claws on each hand and one claw on each foot. savvy. more fiesty that wolverine. haha. loll.
this is her in x-men evolution. the cutest and youngest rendition of her thus far.

and this is her posing with wolverine (again leeching off her glory). haha. what can i say, i've got something against him.


loll. if only life was just about tv, com, a few friends and nothing else. how happy would that be. very.

You Could Be Happy.

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

woooo. so sweet. haiz. smile!

bish.

did you ever realise that when the volume goes up, the whole world stops to listen. you two had to kill my mood today and yesterday didnt you? bah. no need for your silly explanations. its always the same. its all about you and you alone. nothing else matters does it? i dont know. you bloody tell me. next time it happens. gahh.

i wish. i honestly wish.

and just for the record, He is not "the others."

ooh.

finally figured out how to take screenshots in FEAR. but its quite tedious. i have to printscreen, pause e game, go paint and then paste it. loll. anyway. the finale was so awesome, i have to put some pictures about it. since i have so many, i'll pick out e best and the most viewer friendly cause some ppl might be disgusted. haha. roflmao.

hah. found alma and the evil guy. apparently, the guy is devouring e hostage i was supposed to rescue. freaky.

a whole lot of things happen, including flashbacks, hallucinations and the guy himself telling me alma's my mother!!! but in the end, i get to kill him.

gahh. so bloody and i was too late to rescue the hostage.


that guy is harlan wade. he put alma into where she is and eventually killed her. now, under alma's control he's trying to fully release her and i have to stop him because if alma is released, she do a whole lot of bad shit.

too late. i couldnt stop him. alma is released and promptly takes her revenge. thats her on the right. its like her "true" form. not the little girl in the red dress. loll.


thats all thats left of harlan wade.


to be continued. loll. damn scary while i was playing it.

save!

well. i gotta admit. yesterday i had one of my best soccer games in quite awhile. khabil the man came over and joined us. me and vivek were doing some sneaking around. including escaping from the lt in the middle of chem h3. haha. hope we didnt miss much since the first part was pretty boring and useless.

but yea. first hour i played out. made some funny screw ups (sorry senthil for ramming the ball to you know where). it was like chinese versus indians or smthing like that. 3-3. i think. loll.
2nd hour was much better. i played gk. but know we had reinforcements in the form of ihtimam and ashvin, while they had a couple of other people. started off badly when a freekick when through kaswin's legs and into the goal. i just missed the ball. kaswin turned around and gave me a sheepish smile. made a few minor saves. den, some guy shot, stopped it, but it flew onto kawin, deflected off him and back to the "some guy," who shot it past me into the goal. lolllll. damn unlucky kaswin. after tt. made a series of saves tt realli wouldve destroyed us. in the end, we lost 2-1. ohwell. it was a great 2hrs of soccer.

loll. ruth go and suan me before i went to play? haha.

heard the guys lost viva soccer thingy in the second game. dont worry ppls, hope you all had fun and sorry i couldnt join you all for movie. haha.

chem damn fun. hee.
and thanks for that little chat. helped abit. (:


wooo. nice. hehe.

eek

well. mixed up days. had fun on monday training. but damn tired since i didnt eat for the whole day. today? back to normal. bad normal that is. wah. i kena dao so much. haha. its abit funny when i think about it. loll.
and you are damn bad to me. you've always been damn bad to me. and today it got rather irritating especially since i was pretty distressed. but nevermind. we had alot of great moments together. i dont think breaking a friendship cos of that is really worth it. haha.

ooh. and thanks mam. for lending the cds. yea. they were not bad actually. i promise to bring the radiohead cd tomorrow. oh yea. went home with qingyuan today. talked quite abit. in fact, it was the longest i talked to him since he came into class. haha. i'm sure we'll get to know each other more if we talk some more. haha. nvm.

and gambit roxorrzxzx. he should be in all the x-men movies and any future ones since he's so damn bloody cool.

drool. his powers damn cool lah. charge up anything with kinetic energy making them very explosive. especially his pack of cards. and not to mention the staff. haha.

loll.remember trashing everyone during the days of marvel vs capcom using gambit. look at wolverine trying to leech off gambit's glory.

and finally. be warned. the necrons are coming this fall. to reap all things living to quench the thirst of the Nightbringer with the souls of all things living. hoho. stay tuned.

this was a totally random post.

pissed.

would have been an ordinary day. i just had to buy something from city hall. but then alot of things happened. first that shitty sms. then that f***ing phonecall. and then that other sms that made my 1.5 hrs wandering around peninsula shopping centre seem useless. didnt help that i felt so tempted while leaning against the wall making my phoecall. i left the wall with very red knuckles. at least i was alone.

to those that these apologies apply. sorry for not buying the WoW card and adding to the delay by at least one more day. sorry for getting so pissed at you; i didnt mean it. and sorry for not buying what i was supposed to. but no apology for you though. you utterly deserve it. every bit of it.

ahh. screw it. maybe i'll write a really nice note or something. at least i now have a "Retro" book. i graced it with a nice sketch.

origin

seriously, shut the hell up. i've had enough of this. its bad enough that it happened. but is it really necessary that you people keep bringing it up on every possible incident. its bloody pissing and not to mention, it kills the mood even on a happy day. he's gone. he's probably never coming back. so bloody hell live with it. please. stop all the shit. all the flashbacks and all the memories. pointless. so cut it out.

haiz. if.
and dont you get all sarcastic with me.

_

so beautiful.

havok

nooooooooooooooooooo. just as i was reaching the ultimate climax for FEAR, i just realised i don't know how to take screenshots! this cannot do! sms-ed a few ppl and checked out a few websites. i should be able to know how soon. haha. but feel quite malu. didnt know how the print screen thing worked until today. tried hitting it a few times while playing to see if i can get anything. was wondering why nothing happened. but now i know better. heh.
i must re attempt the final stages tomorrow and i shall be back with more pictures! oh wait. thats not very possible. got my sis grad ceremony tmr. i think. we'll see. haha. but everything is building up to a massive and impressive climax. bleah. i'll just post a picture of the most awesome partnership in a game i've seen thus far.


yea. gordon freeman and alyx vance. she winked at me!(while playing as gordon freeman. loll.) and she made a number of strange comments. haha. nvm.

germany will be third today! muahaha. anyway. thanks a lot. it helped alot that you were listening.

integer

shit. there are two words. my biggest enemies. one a three letter word that starts with an s and ends with y. the other a nine letter word that starts with i and ends with rt. go figure. i wish i could do something about it. but my "warped" mind doesnt seem to let me do it. no matter how much i try, i'll end up lookning silly. and it sucks. to the core. i wish i can do something. i really do. its not that i dont want to hang around, but i really wont be "there." thats the irony of it all. i'm not an outcast. but i make myself one.

i remember that resolution i shot upward. i'm still holding my part of it. i'm feeling really satisfied in that department. i just wish i could get something in return. wait. let me rephrase it. its not materialistic or whatever. i need HELP. and i could sure use it. big time.

and it sucks when you might not get your dream Win and a Win anytime soon. loll. am i destined never to have it? i bloody hope not. gahh. i just feel so misunderstood and unheard. reminds me of Alma. heck, i'm so looking forward to find out what happened to her.


man. i feel so mauled up. not like those dudes up there. its a cool picture anyway. loll.

and just for the record, i'm am not crazy about starfire. i'd rather have somebody real. lolll. but what are the odds of that? too minute i guess. all i can hope to do, is continue with my resolution. haha. and i need a notebook to write it down, among other things. whee.

*edit* maybe i whine too much. loll

?obsessions

call me obsessed? but i just cant help it hee. thought i might post some pictures of that spooky yet sweet girl Alma who's been making me feel uneasy for the past few days. but despite all the hideous things she's done and tried to do (heck, she even tried to kill me) maybe she's just misunderstood. i don't know cos i havent uncovered her story yet but from what i've seen so far, it seems pretty sad.

loll. thats her. she keeps her hair down in that spooky and jap horror like manner. and a rather striking red dress kind of thingy. i cant quite make out her face. haha.

thats her making an appearance in some random corridor. abit freaky when she does that. especially since she sort of vanishes when you try and get closer to her. she always appears in the scariest of places. like in the lift while you are alone and the lights are flickering.

thats another pic of her, similar to the first. but what can i say, she is a character that has intrigued me. hopefully i can find out her sad story pretty soon. and i just wish she'd stop scaring me. though i heard from some random guy that she's actually scared of me. haha. oh wait. i can make out her face abit. loll. like it really matters. hope she's not behind me now getting pissed at publicizing her on the web. haha. i'm going nuts.